Pickles are a gift from God 

No literally, it’s in the Bible 

Pickles are a gift from God 

Brennan Love 

Numbers 11:5 and Isiah 1:8 both talk about the pickling of cucumbers. I swear to God. Cleopatra herself used pickles in her diet and told how they enhanced her beauty. So, if you want to be beautiful, just eat a pickle.

Pickles are insanely healthy for you.  They are low in calories and low in fat. They are also filled to the brim with vitamins and fiber. And since they are so low in calories, they can help you lose weight. Brb, buying four jars.

Did you know that pickles are also benefactors in our mood? Lol, I know. They can help boost serotonin levels, get rid of social anxiety, and help with depression. Again, I’m so serious. Sources show that when your gut is happy, you emotionally feel better. 

So if you can’t afford an artsy fartsy therapist, you could easily afford a $4.99 jar of Claussen Pickles. (Which is my personal fav.)

“A study done by the College of William and Mary in Virginia revealed that naturally fermented foods such as dilled pickles can provide you with a huge boost of serotonin which is a chemical responsible for managing our moods,” LifeHack.org stated.

Pickles are also just really enjoyable. Do you know how many pickle-oriented products there are? Pickle pants, Pickle Rick, Pickle shops, Pickleball. (A very popular game that seventh-grade me has a black eye to prove.) Even in the 1930s, there was a city named Pickle City. I swear, it is in Illinois; look it up!

And people actually involve the pickle with Christmas! There is a traditional German game where you hide a pickle-shaped ornament in your Christmas tree and whoever is the first to find it receives good luck. So if you hate pickles, you hate Santa.

Since Pickles are so loved around the world, in almost every state there is at least one pickle devoted store. Whether you’re from Michigan, Pennsylvania, New York, or even California, pickles follow you everywhere.      

If you still somehow still don’t believe me, (weirdo) here are some famous and glorious models (my father and Valerie) with pickles to help change your mind. 

And If you’re still not buying it, that’s okay (no it’s not)! But let me ask you this. Have you ever been suffering through a hot summer day, fresh out of the pool (or hose, we don’t judge), and then getting to chow down on a scrumptious sandwich with a fridge-chilled pickle and Doritos?

Now, that is a perfect summer lunch. There is nothing better than a cold pickle on a hot summer day. And then for civilized people, a nice ice cream treat after hunting down the poor old man in the old ’80s ice cream truck.

And if you’re not a dill fan, don’t worry. There are plenty of pickles to fit your type; bread and butter pickles, sour pickles, sweet pickles, Horsch radish pickles, etc.

Pickles also come in plenty of shapes and sizes. They are cut into slices, chips, or kept whole. The size also benefits the flavor in my opinion. Slices are perfect for a sandwich and the chips are perfect for a quick snack.

There are also actual pickle chips introduced by Lays and followed by many other brands. So if you want a pickle without the pickle, those are the chips I recommend. Even though they aren’t as healthy as an actual pickle.

And may I remind you, you don’t have to just eat cucumber pickles. You can pickle ANYTHING. Bananas, pigs, hot dogs, bread, apples, etc. The possibilities are endless!

And then the killer, Trina Vega, likes pickles. That’s it. That’s all that’s needed to convince you.