Gritty gets a gal

Love is in the air for the Flyers

Lyndsay Metts, Lead Graphic Designer

As the hockey season begins to wind down, the Philadelphia Flyers seem to be putting their best financial foot forward in order to create more engagement with their mascot, Gritty, by finding him a wife.

Gretty, the former mascot of a women’s prison softball team, has been arranged into marriage with fan-favorite Gritty. Although seemingly a match made in mascot heaven, as they are of the same species – a strange furry orange blob monster being – the two, in the public eye, seem to be in a bit of a lovers quarrel.

“He doesn’t account for his personal hygiene,” Gretty said in an interview with The Playwickian staff. “Axe Body Spray and locker room socks are a furious cocktail of red flags.”

Gretty has made her dissatisfaction apparent with this fiscally fueled marriage, but Flyers and hockey fans alike have hope for this handsome couple. Gretty has, in fact, shared her desire for a mate as options were limited over at the women’s prison.

“Although he’s brash and grotesque at times, I think our romance is something I can get used to,” Gretty stated.

For Gritty, though, it was love at first sight.

“Gretty’s everything I want in a woman even if she left me at the altar four times before and tried to chokeslam me in a Walmart parking lot. She’s the girl of my dreams,” Gritty said.

He then proceeded to serenade interviewers with a performance of “She’s Always a Woman” by Billy Joel, nervous voice cracks and all.

Gritty and Gretty merchandise will become available at the Wells Fargo Center on April 1, and social media profiles regarding the Flyers will soon be updated to include Gretty. Followers of the Flyers are excited to see the inclusion of Gretty and watch their romance blossom.