Art Credits to Julia Dreyer

Nath Hoff, Historian

Throughout Neshaminy High School, a new virus has emerged, infecting students in C-Hall with song and dance. This virus, named Coactionis Cantus-3 has been nicknamed the
“Theater Kid Virus (TKV).” If you or a loved one is currently experiencing any level of severity of the following symptoms, we urge you to report to room D-137 for testing immediately.
– Compulsive humming
– Impulsive dance breaks
– Spontaneous singing
– Flash mobbing
– The uncontrollable urge to include others in singing and dancing
– Reminiscing on old concerts and musicals
– Having a character and/or tap shoe collection
– Saving scripts from middle school plays and musicals
Experiencing more than three of these symptoms is a near-confirmed case of TKV. Late-stage victims are quarantined in the secret sixth practice room, and when the infection reaches this stage, it is incurable. When left untreated, the virus has a small chance of mutating into “Acute Neurological Musical Disease (ANMD)”, and students found to be infected with it will be kept in D-Hall for experimentation.
To avoid contracting TKV, students are urged to decrease the amount of audio-verbal communication with those experiencing any symptoms and to visit C-Hall only when absolutely necessary to avoid possible inhalation and neurological spread of the virus.