The Student News Site of Neshaminy High School

The Playwickian

The Student News Site of Neshaminy High School

The Playwickian

The Student News Site of Neshaminy High School

The Playwickian

Senior keeps peers smiling

By Sara Keating
Student Life Editor

Senior Nick Funk is an AP Physics aficionado and spends his free time torturing adviser Hank Oppenheimer as captain of Neshaminy’s ultimate frisbee team, the Llamas.

Q: If you had to spend one night alone in the school, what would you do?
A: I would gather all of the desks and chairs in the school and build a giant fort in the Hub.

Q: In your mind, what is the weirdest or most interesting thing about Neshaminy?
A: I believe that I am the most interesting thing about Neshaminy….Boy, I sure do love mirrors.

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Q: If you could trade places with anyone for a day, who would it be and why?
A: Mr. Dave Coll. I’ve always wanted to be able to climb a rock wall without a harness, and a school bus full of children on my back.

Q: What is the reason for your existence?
A: Jon Mettus’s beautiful face.

Q: If you could supersize anything, what would it be?
A: Squirrels. Then you could pop a saddle on them and ride them…but then I guess you would need some supersized acorns to feed them.

Q: Do you have any advice for the underclassmen?
A: Don’t make eye contact with upperclassmen.

Q: What is something that most people do not know about you?
A: I have a rather large collection of Beanie Babies. Sometimes I just go home and talk to them about my problems.

Q: What is Dr. Rob McGee’s best physical trait?
A: His silver fox hair. But he’s got some pepper in there too…like a pepper-covered silver fox sitting on top of his head.

Q: Of all the teachers you have had at Neshaminy, who would you choose to go backpacking across Europe with and why?
A: Mr. Hank Oppenheimer, because he could carry me on his back across the entirety of Europe.

Q: If your plans for college fail, what is your “Plan B”?
A: Start a career in rap. I can’t really rhyme that well and I don’t have proper timing, but that doesn’t matter; it’s all about image.

Q: If you were a star in an infomercial, what product would you sell and what would be your slogan?
A: In all seriousness, if anyone wants to buy some desks, chairs, electric pencil sharpeners, staplers or other school supplies, find me….I totally didn’t take them from the school or anything… “Nick’s School Supplies! I don’t ask you where you get your stuff, so stop asking me about mine.”

Q: Is it ever okay for men to wear women’s clothing?
A: Sometimes women’s clothing just accentuates my curves better…it’s not weird…you’re weird.

Q:What would you title your autobiography?
A: “In the Nick of Time: A Story of Funk and Fortune”

Q: If you could sum up your life philosophy in one sentence, what would it be?
A: Do what makes you happy, unless it makes others unhappy, in that case you need to make some sort of chart or something that compares how you value your happiness to others’ and then make an informed decision.

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Senior keeps peers smiling